


The Desperation of Loki

by ArgentNoelle



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awkwardness, Eloping, Gen, Humor, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki is Not Amused, Odin Is Not Evil, Parody, Poor Loki, Post-Avengers Asgard, Rescue Missions, Thor Is Not Evil, Thor Is Not Stupid, Warning: Loki, and doesn't need to be rescued, in which the rescuee doesn't want to be rescued
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-14 00:12:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3401309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentNoelle/pseuds/ArgentNoelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Loki is rescued by the frost giants. [CRACK & PARODY]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Desperation of Loki

The tesseract deposited Thor and Loki squarely on the end of the bifrost, just about as far from the palace you could get while still being in Asgard. Loki raised his eyebrow, dearly wishing the muzzle was off so he could make a snide comment about his elder brother’s navigation skills. He tried to catch Thor’s eye, who resolutely ignored him as he began to walk along the shining length of the bridge. Loki sighed, the sound caught between his tongue before it could reach even his own ears. The sky overhead was overcast and grey, a featureless mask of cloud. Thor’s doing, Loki supposed—but what feelings it heralded, he could not guess.

The walk was a long one. Without the use of his tongue, Loki could not call for a horse, and Thor didn’t seem to be inclined to do so, or even to drag him into the air with his infernal hammer. Not that Loki _wanted_ him to do any of those things—but he had not been counting on the walk being so long, so silent. He itched to break the uneasy tension, but with the hasty spells that shimmered round his chains like a warning he wouldn’t risk a magical backlash. So he merely walked beside Thor, and tried not to let himself think about what would happen once they reached the gates.

They reached the gates eventually, standing tall and gold, foreboding in a way they never had been before, and Loki felt something in him turn over at the sight. He was _not_ afraid.

They swung open soundlessly, and he and Thor passed through. Thor hesitated, looking around as though searching for something. That was interesting—something was wrong. Loki let himself reach out to the cuffs around his wrists, prodding gently with his magic. If he had enough time and distraction, he could free his hands, and perhaps escape would not be such an impossible—

“Come on,” Thor said roughly. Without waiting for an answer he slung an arm about Loki’s waist and threw them into the air. Loki’s struggles ceased as they crested over the skyline of the city. He had always been afraid of flying—always been afraid of _falling_ , and his heart began to pound in his chest as he went quite still, feeling the cold armour against his face. But he had enough presence of mind to look up, after a few moments of calming himself, and take in their direction. Straight toward the palace, of course. Thor alighted on a balcony near the throne room, letting go of Loki at once, who stumbled despite himself.

This far into the palace, there should have been at least a pair of guards within shouting distance, and yet—nothing. Another feeling began to sneak its way in, under the terror and annoyance. Thor too noticed something was wrong, he frowned and drew closer to Loki. “Follow me,” he said at last, and moved—soft, silent, like a hunter. Loki followed, being careful of the chains so they would not clink together, alerting anyone to their presence.

They moved into the throne room the back way, past tall curtains that concealed the entrances from view. The last time Loki had visited this place was the day of Thor’s failed coronation. He told himself he did not feel a pang as he took in the familiar sight.

They crowded together at the edge of the throne room, Loki peering over Thor’s shoulder, eyes widening in surprise. Thor’s hand was on his hammer and he was charging before Loki could stop him. Eyes turned their way, picking out Loki from the gap in the curtains—so he sprinted out behind Thor, wishing sickly that Thor hadn’t known all the places he kept his daggers.

Laufey was standing in the throne room. It was not possible. Loki had killed him, _Loki had killed him_ , and now here he was, standing before a crowd, before _Odin himself_ , holding the Casket in hand. And how had he gotten the Casket? Surely it had fallen into space along with him, to be lost forever.

“Thor,” Odin’s voice rang out amid the shocked silence. “Stop!”

Perhaps Thor really had learned, for instead of swinging, he stood uncertainly in front of Laufey, hammer ready, Loki at his side.

But Laufey was not looking at his impending death. His eyes traveled to Loki, standing beside him—and it was not Laufey after all, was it, but another Jotun who wore the marks of kingship. Red eyes narrowed.

“You said he had been well treated,” he growled.

Thor lowered the hammer completely, looking around in confusion. Loki met his eyes with ones equally baffled.

“And he has been,” Odin said calmly. “As I said, I am not sentencing him to death. He will have his own cell, with all the amenities he could wish for.”

“But he is naught but a child! You had not told us of this.”

Were they talking about him? Yes, Loki thought. They must be. There was no one else in the room who had committed such crimes that death would be a possible sentence. He growled under the muzzle, trying to get someone’s attention. He did not want to be ignored!

Odin was surprised. Loki could tell he was surprised, and that said something. “A child? What do you mean?”

The Jotun turned to Loki, pointing with a dramatic finger. “He is so tiny, can’t you see?”

Loki gestured to the metal that covered his face. After a moment of confusion, Thor moved behind him and unclasped it, slowly pulling it from him. It came out with the tang of blood from where Loki had worried at the edges. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

The Jotun gasped. “You’ve hurt him!” he exclaimed.

Loki couldn’t help the incredulous expression from crossing his face. “Are you serious?” he said. “Father—what’s going on?”

Odin sighed. “This is Farbauti,” he said. “The Jotuns’ new king.”

“And I have come here,” Farbauti continued, “to protest against the unlawful treatment and kidnapping of a citizen of Jotunheim.”

“You kidnapped someone?” Loki asked, interested. Odin looked at him pointedly.

“Your words may be golden but your actions speak for themselves,” Farbauti said decidedly. “There will be no more negotiation. We take care of our children.” And he grabbed the manacles on Loki’s hand with the one not holding the Casket. They glowed and twisted and fell to the ground.

Loki summoned up a dagger and a curse, just to be safe.

“I think you misunderstand,” Odin said delicately. “Loki has come of age nearly a century ago now.”

Farbauti scoffed. “Take off the glamour, Allfather, or we will do it ourselves.”

“No!” Loki said.

“I’m afraid—”

“Now!”

And then several things happened at once. Farbauti spoke a _word_ of incredible power that filled the air with the sudden scent of winter. The glamour that made Loki look Asgardian fell away, as he threw the dagger squarely in Farbauti’s eye. Thor stepped forward with Mjolnir aloft and held it threateningly before the Jotun king once more. Odin groaned.

Blood rain down the Jotun’s face, but he showed no sign of discomfort. “We will speak more,” he said to Odin grimly. “Do not think we have forgotten this.” The frost giants behind him grinned. Then Farbauti grabbed Loki and activated the Casket. The throne room disappeared in a gleam of white, and Loki wondered if he had only imagined that Thor called his name.

* * *

They appeared again in Jotunheim. Loki knew it was Jotunheim because he had been there before, but if he hadn’t he would not have guessed. His jaw dropped open. The sun above glinted off the deep snowdrifts, and on the slopes of nearby outcroppings stood twisted trees with dark green needles. Away in the distance, the capital city had been rebuilt, spires of clear ice reaching towards the sky, cloudless and blue. The air was fresh and clean.

“Yes,” Farbauti said, correctly interpreting his amazement. “This is Jotunheim as it was meant to be, as it once was, before the Casket was stolen and all our power with it.”

“It’s beautiful,” Loki admitted.

They marched into the city triumphant. Loki thought, as they went, that, after all, things could have been worse. He could stay here until he had gathered his strength and updated his plans, then escape—for surely it would be child’s play to escape from these creatures.

* * *

Child’s play. That’s what he had thought, Loki’s mind spat sarcastically as once again he was dragged back into the capital city in disgrace. Grounded, and forbidden to practice magic for an entire month, as though he were an unruly adolescent. The door to his room slammed shut behind him, Loki stared out the window and wondered if he was desperate enough to jump. He almost thought he might be.

Farbauti was impossible. He would not listen to reason, he would not be manipulated, he would not treat Loki as an equal because of some misguided belief that Loki was a wayward, traumatized youth. And all because Loki was smaller than any fully grown frost giant, could not control ice, and had soft skin.

Of course, Loki had tried to point out, time and again, he _wasn’t_ a full Jotun. Farbauti himself knew of Laufey’s dalliance with a Vanir princess, and that Loki had been the result. He had been the one to tell Loki of it. Vanir, like Aesir, grew faster than Jotuns. It was basic biology.

No, Loki decided, the fall wasn’t nearly high enough to chance it.

* * *

It was really the lessons with the children that pushed him over the edge. They whined, they could not sit still, they could not grasp the finer points of—of anything, and they _would not stop talking_. It was all those centuries of schooling he had put behind him, all over again. It was _maddening_.

Loki hated children.

Hated them.

* * *

“Thor,” Loki hissed. Thor went on snoring obliviously. Loki leaned closer and dared to raise his voice the slightest fraction. “ _Thor_!”

“Wha—?” Thor blinked in the darkness and startled, meeting Loki’s eyes. “Loki—what are you doing here? I thought the frost giants had taken you—am I dreaming?”

“Of course you’re not dreaming, you idiot, and I’m not here, it’s a holographic projection. Now listen to me, because this spell took three months to set up and it’s not going to last for long. Got it?”

Thor nodded.

“Good. Thor, you’ve got to get me out of here.”

“What do you mean? Can’t you escape?”

It pained him to admit it, it really did. “Not without your help. I’ve got a plan though, so listen—”

But Thor was getting that _look_ on his face—the one he got when he thought he was being clever. “And what if I left you there? You would no longer be able to threaten the realms with your chaos.”

“Thor!” Loki said. Surely he couldn’t be serious.

“It seems an apt punishment to me,” Thor said, and lay down with his back to Loki and his eyes closed, and ignored him.

If Loki could have touched Thor he would have stabbed him again.

* * *

No, the worst part was Farbauti. Unfailingly kind, persistently gentle, unendingly oblivious. He thought nothing of manhandling Loki, of _ruffling his hair_ , smiled condescendingly at everything Loki said and never rose to any bait and didn’t even care that Loki had _stabbed him in the eye_ —

“Let go of me!” Loki squawked, as Farbauti swung him up into his arms as though he weighed nothing at all.

* * *

Loki had never thought he would be grateful for Odin’s parenting. That hands-off approach was much better than this _humiliating_ farce.

* * *

Centuries more. By the time the Jotuns acknowledged him as of age, he would be nearing his deathbed. He could not spend the rest of his life here. He _couldn’t_. “Surely you can understand, Thor…”

“Hmmm,” Thor said, lazily, from where he lounged in his chambers on a brocaded couch. “I’m not sure I’m convinced…”

“Please!” he said. He was not above begging. “Please, Thor. What do you want? I’ll give it to you. Anything!”

The glint in Thor’s eyes brightened. “Anything?” he said, and yet his voice was still casual, his face still calm. When had he learned to act? Loki wondered suddenly, with a sinking feeling. But he swallowed. “Of course.”

At least it couldn’t be worse than what the Chitauri had wanted.

* * *

Sigyn was a friend of Hogun’s who had lived on Vanaheim her entire life. She had studied law before deciding to be a hermit, and lived in a remote village on the edges of civilization. She was, she said, entirely happy with her choice.

It took a good deal of convincing to get her to agree to the plan, but in the end, her help was invaluable in narrowing down their choices. In the end, it came to one.

“Marriage,” she said.

“Are you quite sure?” Loki posited. “Because remember, they think I’m underage—”

“And as I just explained, because of these laws here,” she pointed at the tall stack of books that stood precariously on the edge of her small table, “it is entirely possible for you to marry anyone from Asgard or Vanaheim and so be taken out of the guardianship of Farbauti.”

* * *

“No.”

“Sigyn, darling—”

“Don’t even think about it.”

* * *

It was a seedier place than he’d imagined his wedding would take place within in days gone by, but Loki couldn’t care less. He’d managed to sneak away, and his pursuers wouldn’t find him for _at least_ another hour, ample time for the ceremony to be concluded.

Thor was the witness.

“I told you I’d manage to talk her round,” Loki said once again.

“Of course brother,” Thor sighed. “I should never have doubted you.”

Loki preened.

* * *

“When did you say she would be here?” Loki said worriedly. The tracker he’d placed on his pursuers was coming closer and closer.

“She should be here soon enough,” Thor said absently, nursing another beer.

* * *

“I’ve been stood up,” Loki spat. They were hardly over the rise. They would be here in minutes, and then—he shuddered. He could not imagine what they would do. “I’ve been stood up by that—”

“Loki,” Thor said over his curses, “She is Hogun’s friend.”

Loki glared.

“Look,” the officiator said. “If I’m not going to be needed, I’ll take my money and be going, because it’s one in the morning.”

“No,” Loki said, watching the slowly blinking light come ever closer. “No, the wedding will go on.”

* * *

Loki woke the man who had been sleeping next to the fireplace, then the officiator began to speak, slowly and in a bored manner.

The tracker blinked closer and closer, before coming to rest on top of the small building.

Loki said his part.

“She’s not here,” Thor said. “She’s not coming, Loki.”

* * *

“No.”

“Thor—”

“I have done many things for you, brother, but this is not going to be one of them.”

* * *

They burst into the door. Farbauti’s eyes took in the scene, from the blinking man sitting in the hearth to the stony face of Thor with Loki cringing behind him, to the officiator, who tapped his parchment meaningfully against his desk.

“I’m disappointed in you Loki,” he said heavily. “I thought we had moved past this.”

“I do,” said Thor, and then swallowed a look of terror.

* * *

“Was that really so bad?” Loki said. “You get to make sure I’m not up to any mischief, I get out of Jotunheim—”

“Shut up,” Thor said.

Loki shut up.

* * *

The rebuilt bifrost beam deposited Thor and Loki in the middle of the circular chamber. Heimdall nodded his head in acknowledgement as they trailed by, Loki behind Thor, who was tight-lipped and clutching the hammer in his hand. Above them, in the sky, thunder rolled threateningly.

The sun was rising by the time they made their way into the palace.

* * *

PART TWO

* * *

Loki hung back as they marched along the sparkling bridge. Thor said nothing, but the corner of his mouth twitched, and his hands worked as though he would like to throttle something. If the last time they had walked here together had lasted long, this time was longer. The gates rose up once more before them, and swung open.

This time there were guards, waiting for them. When they saw Loki, they seized him, and dragged him along as they made their way through the winding streets to the palace. There would be no flight this time. Loki almost wished otherwise.

Passersby stared. He could feel their eyes on him, the disgraced prince, the Jotun monster. Their gazes dug themselves into his skin, drawing blood. He knew how he appeared—barbaric. Mad. Dragged in against his will. Thor did nothing to correct the assumptions, though he must see them being made, only strode ahead, so furious no one dared to raise their voice in his direction.

The cobblestones were hot under his bare feet, the sun hot above him. Sweat trickled down his neck and under his arms.

The walk was long. Halfway there, Loki became quite certain that Thor was stalling—he was taking the longest route to the palace and walked slower than he had to. At least it gave him time to calm down.

The guards began to tire. The triumphant entrance was not really all that triumphant, and the prisoner wasn’t putting up a fight. They eyed each other with unshown long-suffering. It served them right, Loki thought bitterly.

The walk couldn’t last forever. Eventually they were going to end up at the doors of the palace. The guards perked up, dragging Loki more roughly so it seemed as though they were restraining him. And then Thor turned around, and said, “You may go. I will take care of my brother from here.”

The guards could say nothing, and they were trained well—but the dashed hope in their eyes was plain. They walked off grumbling as soon as they were out of sight. They had wanted a show.

Loki met Thor’s eyes and grinned hopefully. Thor stared back. Loki licked his lips. “What shall we do now?” he asked, checking every escape route, just in case the answer involved “my hammer” and “your head.”

“I suppose we should go to father,” Thor said reluctantly.

“Of course,” Loki agreed.

They stood awkwardly in the sun for another moment. Neither made a move, though Loki thought longingly of the shade within the doorway five feet away.

“Should you tell him, or shall I?” he said at last.

Thor shifted from foot to foot. He crossed his arms. He uncrossed them. “I’ll do it,” he said at last.

They walked into the palace.

Loki took the chance to look around as he had not been able to last time, and let it sink in that he was really home. He did not know what to feel about that, but his body seemed to decide for him, relaxing in the familiarity.

They walked into the throne room. Odin was holding court, common people and aristocrats filling the room, a long line of petitioners stretching out into the courtyard beyond. Thor strode up to the front of the line, brashness and confidence radiating from him. Loki marveled at the change, the way he pulled it around him with such ease he almost believed it himself.

Odin saw them as they approached, breaking off in the middle of his speech. “Thor,” he said. “What are you doing?”

Everyone was staring. Loki stood tall and cold beside Thor, meeting the eyes long enough that they ducked away, embarrassed.

“I came home,” Thor announced, stating the obvious. He took a deep breath, and then said nothing. Loki nudged him.

“Loki is meant to be in Jotunheim,” Odin said at last.

“About that,” Thor said. He touched Mjolnir on his belt as if to comfort him. “I got married.”

“What?” Everyone seemed to be talking at once. In moments, the whole crowd was speaking, asking questions, exclaiming. Odin let Gungnir ring out against the ground once, instilling silence.

“Thor, what is the meaning of this,” Odin said testily.

“I got married,” Thor repeated.

“To who?” someone shouted out.

“Where are they?” another person exclaimed.

“Why?”

Thor shifted on his feet. “IgotmarriedtoLoki,” he said at once in a rush.

“It’s perfectly legal,” Loki added, in the stunned silence. “We’re not really related, you know.”

* * *

“What were you thinking?” Odin yelled. By the time he’d been free of his duties it was late afternoon, but the time had not made him any less angry. It had, in fact, made him even more infuriated. Which was why he had cornered Thor and Loki in Thor’s rooms, where they had been hiding on the balcony.

“As I told you, father,” Thor said, “I felt that Loki had served out his punishment adequately on Jotunheim and that he was in a precarious mental state among people who did not recognize him. I thought he would be better off at home. Where we can keep an eye on him.”

“Loki, this was all your idea, wasn’t it.” It came out as a groan.

“No,” Loki protested.

“Thor,” Odin said, “We can still save face. Pretend Loki enchanted you. I’m sure Sif will forgive you this one thing.”

Thor made a strange face. He had never wanted to marry Sif, Loki knew. He had not protested at their betrothal, but had told her he held no feelings for her in that way. It did not stop her from trying, though. Nor did it stop Thor from chasing other women. Jane had been the last straw, and Sif had told him privately that if he really cared that little about their union, they should dissolve it. They had, then and there. In fact their relationship had improved dramatically afterward.

Thor hadn’t quite got up the nerve to tell Odin about it yet.

Loki grinned.

* * *

“You were amused,” Thor said.

“Was I?” Loki asked.

“You were indeed. And more than that, you were no help at all, even though you said you would be. But you know what, Loki?” He walked over, slowly, pinning Loki against the edge of the balcony rail, “I understand. You couldn’t think of the right words. You and father have never been close.”

“That’s—that’s very kind of you Thor,” Loki said, scrabbling for a purchase against the irrational thought that he would fall.

“Of course it is,” Thor said. “In fact, I’ll save you the trouble of having to articulate your thanks by telling you what you can do for me.”

“Ah?” Loki asked, clutching onto Thor’s armour.

“I’ll let you tell mother.”

Loki drew back. “You wouldn’t,” he breathed.

“All by yourself,” Thor said.

“No, Thor, you can’t expect me to—Thor!”

Thor was walking away across the balcony, disappearing into his rooms. “Thor, you brute! Don’t think I won’t get back at you!”

Thor ignored him. Loki resolved to make the snake that would appear under his pillow that night a poisonous one.

* * *

“Well,” Hogun said. He looked from one to the other.

“It’s all your friend’s fault,” Loki complained. “She stood me up. I had to marry _someone_!”

Hogun was incredulous—his eyebrows raised slightly.

“The only other people in the room were frost giants,” Loki said sulkily. 


End file.
